Already Agitated & Blessed Break

Tuesday, February 16

We started the day off by going over the homework. I prefer starting class like this. It’s easing into the material instead of cannonballing straight into it. Afterwards, my professor went over interrogatives before sending us into breakout rooms. There, we were to ask questions in Arabic to our partner and reply in Arabic. And then once we did it in the breakout room, we were supposed to do it in front of the class.

I hate it when this happens. I hate speaking in Arabic in front of people. I can’t read it and I can barely speak it. However, if someone else is talking, I can pick up words here and there. I used to think it was weird when people would say they can understand a language but not speak it. Now I understand. 

After an uncomfortable conversation in front of the class with plenty of nervous pen-clicking from me, I was left to try to relax and watch other people go through their conversations. Some people struggled, but probably not as much as I did. I really need to dedicate time to learning my vocab but it’s so hard to find the time and motivation and dedication. I hate it.

Next, we as a class started on an exercise from our textbook. There was a small paragraph with lots of blanks, and we had to listen to the associated audio and fill in the blanks with what we heard in Arabic and then translate it. I was feeling very agitated from the previous speaking presentation, and there were a few external distractions that were giving me sensory overload, so I could barely concentrate. My chest felt tight and I hadn’t wanted to cry like that since back in September. I almost left class fifteen minutes early since I was so agitated, but I’m glad I pushed through. 

At the end of class, my professor surprised us by saying that we would not be meeting on Thursday due to some personal reasons. So to make up for it, she assigned us lots of homework and admonished us because we hadn’t been learning our vocabulary and verb conjugations. We definitely deserved it.

So now I can breathe and have a Thursday to catch up on other things that need my attention—as well as my Arabic homework. I wonder if I’ll ever be over the anxiety that Arabic class gives me. Probably not. Until next week, ma’ salama. 

Arabic Word of the Week

culture / althaqafa / الثقافة